Scream 9
Is it me, or is Jerry Jones looking more and more like The Creature from the Black Lagoon? Very reptilian, J.J. You don’t see many overweight and or ugly mermaids. Now mermen…..different story. Tiger’s cursing just doesn’t fit with the rest of the package. Wonder who packaged that package? Caddied once for Leonard Coleman (former NL President) and we talked about Barry Bonds. He told me that while he thought Barry was indeed the kind of guy portrayed, Jeff Kent was even more of a p*r*i*c*k. “Biggest one in the majors,” I’m still having trouble deciding which coach rubs me the worst: Rick Pitino, John Calipari, or Bobby Petrino. Been saying for years that Florida Field (aka The Swamp) is the toughest place to play for visiting years and it’s beginning to bother me that many more fair weathered fans agree. Referring to the Cubs as the “Cubbies” bugs me. Too yuppie for me. Does Tommy Lasorda ever take off his Dodger uniform? Is he still the manager? NASCAR’s become too mainstream for me. I liked it better when it was more of a “fringe sport.” Can you say “sell-out?” Can we please knock off this whole “Dancing with the Stars” with professional athletes nonsense? I don’t know what’s worse: being Aaron Rogers (q.b. of the future?) in Green Bay, or Elliot Spitzer at the next Spitzer family barbeque. Remember, Patrick Henry? He’s the dude who coined the phrase, “Politics is the last refuge of the scoundrel.”I’m tired of Duke. Reminds me of the spoiled rich kid who doesn’t get his way. Tired of feeling like I have to (as a sport’s fan) get into the Women’s NCAA basketball tournament. How many more “Tatupus” are there yet to play in the N.F.L? Is there anyone out there who didn’t know that Jim Nance roomed with Fred Couples (and it’s Fred and not “Freddie,” what do you know him or something?). The whole Dan Patrick/Rick Reilly snarky white guy wanna be “down with the brothers” bit has worn out it’s welcome with me. The X-Games will never be what it wants to be. Tiger Woods needs to calm down. Jesus has already risen once. Hey Jose (Reyes), a little less dancing and a little more playing would be nice. Especially in a big spot. Tired too of this whole “Jaba Rules” stuff. And I’m a Yankee fan. You think Natalie Gulbis has ever suffered from “explosive diarrhea?” How come I see so many Red Sox regalia in the New York metro area? I guarantee that if I were to spend some time in New England, I wouldn’t see too many Yankee hats. The Yankees are thinking about implementing a new dress code for fans attending games. Suit and tie only. Who died and left “Bud” the “King of Beers?” Who do you think is a bigger “hanger on-er,” Bill Clinton or Roger Clemens? I miss games played on artificial turf. That’s enough for now. I’m exhausted. One more thing: I’ve had it with the middle east. Let ‘em keep killing each other.
